


got the sunshine

by aroceu



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Magic, Trans Character, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2014-08-10
Packaged: 2018-02-12 13:15:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2111271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aroceu/pseuds/aroceu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ginny has faith in who she is; she's just not quite sure if the magic knows. But Hogwarts always provides for its students, and unicorns respond best to a young woman's touch.</p>
<p>And Luna Lovegood is always there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	got the sunshine

**Author's Note:**

> Luna does not have dysphoria in this fic, and yes she is genderfluid (not explicitly stated between what in this fic because it's not relevant, but I headcanon Luna being fluid between demigirl, demiboy, pangender, and agender.) Ginny's birth name isn't stated because it's both irrelevant and also I'm not sure what I would think up as one. 
> 
> Title from Taylor Swift's "A Place In This World," which works quite well with this fic :)

Ginny had felt quite right with herself all her life, staring at her mother when she was grouped off with her brothers, preferring keeping to herself. Fred and George wouldn't let up on her, though, and challenged her to flying races, tried to get her and big brother Ron into trouble by tinkering with Dad's things.   
  
Ginny stuck up her nose at them and they looked at her one day, like they saw what she felt, and ruffled her short ginger hair.   
  
Mum always kissed her cheeks, told her she loved her, and Ginny didn't know why she needed the reaffirmation. When her mother asked her one day, when she was four years old, if she wanted to go to Dad's work with him and the other boys, she said:  
  
"I've been doing some thinking, and I want to be called Ginevra, and I feel like a girl. And no, Mum, I want to stay here with you."  
  
Mum burst into tears on the spot that Ginny had thought she'd done something wrong. But then Mum was beaming at her like she'd never had before, opened up her arms, and said, "Come here."  
  
Ginny did. Mum hugged her tight, warm and fresh and flowery, and said, "Ginny then. And of course you can stay with me. You're Mummy's little girl, alright?"  
  
A beatific smile broke across Ginny's face. "Right," she said.   
  
*  
  
Mum told the others and they didn't question it, although Ron cornered her one day and said, "I don't understand."  
  
He looked wounded, like Ginny being his sister instead of his brother was some sort of personal betrayal to him.   
  
Ginny shrugged and said, "I'm a girl."  
  
"But you were a boy before!"  
  
"You thought I was a boy," Ginny corrected.   
  
Ron seemed at a loss for words. After a moment, he said, "Y'know, you're Mum's first daughter."  
  
Ginny brightened up. "I know."  
  
"Well." Ron shuffled his feet. "This won't change anything with us, you know."  
  
"I know," said Ginny.   
  
Ron asked, "So you wanna grow up looking like Mum?"  
  
"No!" Ginny almost laughed at the idea. "Mum understands me though, I think, because she's a girl, too." It sounded weird referring to her mother that way. "I don't want to look like anyone. I don't want  _anything_. I'm just a girl."  
  
"Alright." Ron nodded, and then ruffled Ginny's head. "Then as my little sister, it's your duty to get yourself into trouble and for me to protect you."  
  
"You're only five," Ginny laughed, but felt light in her heart all the same.   
  
*  
  
The Lovegoods moved to St. Ottery Catchpole the year later, with a child who had the lightest colored hair Ginny had ever seen. The parents introduced themselves as Xenophilius, Pandora, and Luna; and Ginny stared at Luna.   
  
"Hi," she said, walking up to Luna. "I'm Ginny."  
  
She stuck out her hand, like Mum had taught her to do.   
  
Luna looked Ginny up and down, from her robes that had once been George's (or Fred's), and short hair curling around her ears. Ginny's hair didn't grow very fast.   
  
Luna beamed and said, "It's nice to meet you, Ginny."  
  
And that was all very well and then Ginny started going to Luna's house, and Luna to hers, and Luna called her a "she" without even needing to ask unlike her father's Ministry friends who visited once in a while. It made Ginny feel safe.   
  
Then, when Ginny was nine, a loud explosion from outside shocked her awake. She peered out her window to see purplish smoke billowing from Luna's house, and scrambled down the stairs.   
  
"Mum!" she shouted, but her mum was already awake, sitting in the kitchen and staring out the window.   
  
"Stay here, Ginny," she said, before running over to the Lovegoods.  
  
The next morning she brought the Lovegoods over, only it wasn't them because it was only Luna and her dad. Luna's face was pale and blotchy like pink paint splattered on a canvas; her dad was silent and had his lips tightened as Mum told her children that Luna's mum had been in an accident.   
  
Ginny reached over and touched Luna's hand. Luna smiled through her red-rimmed eyes, and responded.   
  
But she didn't come over and play with her much after that. Ginny couldn't blame her, either. But it had been nice having someone who understood without asking, for a while.   
  
*  
  
Her hair started growing out faster after that, and her mother chuckled when she noticed. She said, "Girls mature faster than boys."  
  
Ginny stuck out her tongue at Ron, and Ron stuck his tongue out back.   
  
Fred and George didn't stop challenging her to Quidditch races, so while Mum was busy cooking and Percy and Ron were degnoming the garden, she snuck out to the shed and stole away on some of her brother's brooms. They were moderately fast and responded after a few tries of Ginny's touch. She whipped through the air, loving the wind through her longer hair.   
  
*  
  
When she got to Hogwarts, she was Sorted into Gryffindor, to no one's surprise. She was a little disappointed that she didn't see Ron as she sat down, though; in fact, she hadn't seen him on the train.   
  
Then a dark haired man with probably a permanent scowl came into the Great Hall, whispered something to the man with the long white beard and hair - Professor Dumbledore, Mum and Dad had gushed on about, earlier - and strode out of the room, along with them the pinch-faced witch Ginny recalled as Professor McGonagall. Ginny watched with curiosity.   
  
"What's that about?" she asked.   
  
No one paid her much mind; but the brown-haired girl Ginny remembered Ron was friends with was sitting across from her, looking restless.   
  
"Probably something about Harry and Ron," she said, twisting her fingers together. "Dunno if that's a good thing or a bad thing."  
  
Ginny's heart leapt, because  _Harry Potter_. He'd looked at her funny all summer, but was kind all the same.   
  
By the time the Feast was over and she was in the Gryffindor common room, Ron and Harry Potter were there, flocked by crowds of students. Ginny didn't even have time to look around the common room because she was immediately by Ron's side, hugging him tightly.   
  
His face red from the attention only turned redder. "Well, all right then," he said, wrapping an arm around her side. "Glad you're here in Gryffindor with us."  
  
Ginny grinned and, despite himself, Ron grinned back.   
  
He and Harry left to their dormitory eventually. But Ginny was too nervous to go. She knew she looked like a girl, now -  _Ginevra Weasley_  had even been on her Hogwarts letter and was called out during the Sorting.   
  
But dormitories were separated by gender and not by name. Ginny didn't know why she didn't have any faith in the magic.   
  
The brown-haired girl - Hermione, Ginny recalled - came back into the common room when people started trickling out. She noticed Ginny sitting at an armchair, sitting at the fire.   
  
"Ginny, right?" she said kindly, and Ginny nodded. "Why aren't you in your dormitory? You must be exhausted."  
  
Ginny stared into the firelight. "I'm not... sure," she said finally, "if my trunk will be in the right place."  
  
"What do you mean? They're sent to the dormitories after you're Sorted. It says so in  _Hogwarts, A History_."  
  
Ginny twisted her hands together. "I dunno."  
  
Hermione smiled gently at her, and said, "Come on. If it's not there, we'll ask Professor McGonagall to help us find it."  
  
She stuck out her hand and Ginny took it. They started toward the girls' side, until Ginny exhaled and said, "No."  
  
She started toward the boys' side. Hermione looked confused as Ginny started up the staircase.   
  
"Where are you going?" she asked.   
  
Ginny replied, head lowered in shame, "To my dorm."  
  
"But you're - "  
  
"I am a girl," Ginny said quickly, swiveling around on a stair. "I'm just not sure... the magic knows it."  
  
Hermione's eyebrows were furrowed. Still, she didn't ask any questions and said, "Well if you're a girl but the magic doesn't know, you shouldn't be able to go up the girls' staircase. The magic wouldn't allow it. It says so in  _Hogwarts, A History_."  
  
Ginny slowly stepped back down. Hermione took her hand again.   
  
"Are you sure?" Ginny asked.  
  
"Positive," Hermione said brightly. "A little reading does a lot good."  
  
Ginny giggled, and they started toward the girls' staircase. Nothing happened as they walked up, but Ginny didn't let go of Hermione's hand until they were at the girls' first year dormitory.   
  
"See?" Hermione said, letting her go.   
  
Ginny hugged her suddenly, feeling so much more at home than she did before. "Thank you," she said.   
  
Hermione didn't respond at first, but Ginny had probably thrown her off. After a few seconds, she patted Ginny's back.   
  
"You're welcome," she said.   
  
*  
  
Despite Hermione's kindness, first year turned out horrible. Ginny started losing places in her memory, kept seeing red, and her friend Tom wasn't any help at all.   
  
_What's happening?_  she kept writing to him, and Tom would just try to coax her by calling her a little girl, because she'd written,  _Thank you_ , the first time he had.   
  
Now it was sounding condescending. Ginny's memory, her mental health worsened as she kept writing to Tom. She would wake up in parts of the castle when she wasn't even aware she'd been asleep in the first place.   
  
_What are you doing to me?_  
  
Her insides felt heavier and darker and she didn't know why. She did well on exams she couldn't even remember taking.   
  
Eventually, there was a period of such darkness that she could feel herself slipping away. Perhaps it was for the better, she supposed. No need for this worry about everything, about classes and her grades and Harry Potter, who still looked at her funny. (Awfully kind, though.)  
  
And then she was blinking awake and Harry Potter was staring down at her, the only thing warm in what appeared to be a cool cavern.   
  
"Harry," she burst, and started crying, "oh, Harry, I tried to tell you at b-breakfast, I couldn't say it in front of Percy - it was  _me_ , Harry - I s-swear I didn't mean to - "  
  
But Harry reassured her it was all right and had that awful diary, now torn and splotched, in his hand. When they exited the marble cave and made their way through a mountain of rocks, Ron was there, and practically tackled her in relief. Then a bird guided them up, and there was a whirl of professors and her brothers and parents, and before she knew it the darkness had already been lifted from her soul.   
  
Ginny realized that she'd cut through this. She'd been helpless to what Dumbledore revealed to be You-Know-Who, but she was still  _here_. She was more than anyone's pawn.   
  
She decided to act on it.   
  
*  
  
As the girls in her year started developing the next couple of years, Ginny was acutely aware that her lanky frame remained but her height shot up. She stared at girls' chests enviously, when they weren't looking.   
  
In third year, she went with Neville Longbottom to the Yule Ball, and found Michael Corner. Both had called her very pretty, and she liked Michael more. He snogged well and called her a girl.   
  
In her fourth year, Harry started developing a darkness in his eyes that Ginny recognized, had felt before. She could talk to him normal now, and couldn't find Michael so she joined Harry and Neville, into a train compartment.   
  
It was already occupied: Luna Lovegood was sitting there with an upside down magazine and big multicolored spectacles.   
  
"Loony Lovegood," she'd heard kids in her year pass around, and said to Ron and her friends. She'd talked to Luna a couple of times in Charms; Luna had mostly been alone in Hogwarts, and their House separation and Ginny's other friends didn't allow any other time to acquaint.   
  
Luna let them share the compartment with her, and made alright company for someone who might've gone mad. She hadn't changed; in fact was more misty-eyed than when she'd been younger.   
  
Hermione asked Ginny about her later, when Ginny visited her in the fifth year's dorms. "She's sort of strange, isn't she?" Hermione asked.  
  
Ginny said, "She's always been like that. You remember what she said about her father being the editor for the Quibbler, don't you? She's like that, she'll believe everything in there without proof, too."  
  
"Wit beyond measure," Hermione murmured to herself.   
  
"Not always the greatest treasure," Ginny said, and they both giggled.   
  
*  
  
The Gryffindor fourth years shared Care of Magical Creatures with the Ravenclaw fourth years, though, so it wasn't long until Ginny saw her again.   
  
Luna was on the frays of the group, and Ginny's friends were all conversing with each other, so she went over to Luna instead.   
  
"Hello," Luna said pleasantly.   
  
"Hi, Luna," Ginny said. "You alright?"  
  
Luna swayed, and then smiled. "I don't think your brother likes me very much," she said.   
  
"Which one," Ginny joked, and then, "Yeah, ignore Ron. He's been a prat lately."  
  
"I heard about him and Harry Potter last year," Luna said seriously.  
  
Ginny shrugged. "They're growing," she said, and rolled her eyes.  
  
Luna smiled at her, as Professor Grubbly-Plank called them over. They were led to several large white creatures, with a shot of a silver horn on each head.   
  
Ginny oohed and aahed with the rest of the group. Professor Grubbly-Plank said gruffly, "These here are unicorns, as I'm sure many of you know. Boys, stay back," she warned as they neared them. "They prefer a woman's touch."  
  
Ginny's stomach jolted. Even after all these years, and she still wasn't sure if the magic would know. How would it? It was only magic.   
  
"Go on then," said a voice, and Luna was behind her, smiling quietly.   
  
Ginny remembered that she  _knew_. Luna knew, and still had as much faith in the magic as Hermione did when she didn't know.   
  
Ginny approached a unicorn, as Luna watched. Professor Grubbly-Plank couldn't tell, by Ginny's long red hair, so there was nothing now forcing her back.   
  
The unicorn whinnied. Ginny thought for a second it was trying to scare her off - but then the unicorn clopped towards her itself, and brought its head under Ginny's palm.   
  
"Well done, Miss Weasley," Professor Grubbly-Plank praised, as Ginny started ruffling her fingers through the silvery hair. The unicorn clicked its teeth in pleasure, and Ginny brought her small palms, roughened from Quidditch and natural growth, in circles at the unicorn's mane.   
  
The unicorn purred. Ginny turned around and saw Luna petting the unicorn too, beaming at her with the same, silvery glow.   
  
*  
  
"It's all right," Luna said when Ginny apologized for having not made an effort to talk with her outside of class for three years.   
  
Ginny shook her head. "It's not. You've looked lonely."  
  
"Everyone in Ravenclaw calls me a freak," Luna murmured. "Sometimes I sleep in the boys' dormitories, sometimes I sleep in the girls'. Sometimes there's an extra dormitory and I sleep in there."  
  
Ginny was surprised. "Where do they come from?"  
  
"They just do," Luna said, and shrugged. "Like they know."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"The castle. The magic." Luna smiled. "They just want to help out. They give me extra rooms in the towers because they know the other girls and boys won't let me stay with them. Or an extra tower, if I need it. Sometimes I can't even go up the girls' staircase." She looked amused. "But only when I don't want to."   
  
Ginny suddenly felt overwhelmed with love, like she didn't know how much she had took for granted.   
  
"Magic is wonderful," she said.   
  
"Yes," Luna agreed.   
  
"Also," said Ginny, a thought occurring to her. "Can you see if there are any spells on... natural breast growth? For people who have more testosterone," she muttered to herself.   
  
Luna brightened. "You're asking me because I'm a Ravenclaw, aren't you?"  
  
"If the shoe fits," said Ginny, and they both laughed.   
  
"I'm sure there is one," Luna said. "You're not the first witch who's wondered."  
  
"I hope not," agreed Ginny. And then: "I'm glad you always understood. And I'm glad there's a reason for that. You're a good friend, Luna."  
  
An unreadable expression passed over Luna's face, but it was not unpleasant. "You are, too," she said.  
  
*  
  
Luna ended up finding quite a few books on transgender magical people in the library. After a few tries with different spells - and they always worked, because Luna was precise with this sort of thing - Ginny found one she was comfortable with  
  
A few months later, her pectorals started to swell with the same rate Ginny had seen on other girls, and Ginny thanked Luna.   
  
"I'm happy you're happy," was Luna's response.   
  
They did the Quibbler together, and talked about Harry Potter. Ginny found that she was starting to stray from Michael Corner, but it didn't bother her as much as she thought it might. She invited Luna to Ron and Harry and Hermione's secret Defense Against the Dark Arts club, and Luna watched her try out for Quidditch after Harry had gotten banned.   
  
"I think I'm good, don't you?" Ginny said breezily as she landed in the stands when she was done.   
  
Luna said, "I love how you love yourself."  
  
It was little quirks like this that threw Ginny off once in a while, but she was getting used to them again. "I love how you love yourself, too," she said to Luna.   
  
Luna smiled. "You believe in yourself first before you believe others," she said. "I think you'll make the Quidditch team."  
  
"Me too."  
  
Luna stood up. "Ready to go?" she asked, and offered out her hand.  
  
Ginny took it without hesitating. "I am."


End file.
